In this video Brad talks about whether it’s a good idea to be friends with your ex.
In the first few days and weeks following a breakup, your body is reacting in much the same way it would if you were giving up drugs or alcohol. In your pain and misery, it can be a very tempting offer to still be friends with the lost love interest. At least they would still be a part of your life, right? The fact is, it’s not a good idea to allow this to happen.
Do you ever want this ex back in your life?
If your plan is to somehow convince your ex to reconsider his/her decision to live without you, you should not settle for less than the kind of relationship you had before. Being friends is nice, but it has differences from a love relationship. If you want an intimate, fulfilling relationship, to settle for friendship will make the inevitable break much more difficult. Recovery takes time away from your ex. If he or she is still part of your everyday life, that recovery will be more challenging.
Your ex needs to miss you.
One of the things that must begin to happen if you ever want your ex back in your life is that they need to have time to miss you. In order to really begin to feel the empty place they now have in their lives, you must first be gone! There needs to be a physical and emotional distance between you so they can feel the pain of not having you. A good idea is to withdraw from your ex’s life for a full month. A no contact period will help them to know that you filled important needs and made them happy.
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Don’t become an emotional dumping ground
One of the duties of being a ‘friend’ is to stand steadily by and listen when your ex tells you all his or her troubles. Your ex will be telling you all about the new romantic interests they have. Do you really want to know that? If you seriously care about this person and want them back in your life, you cannot be expected to give good advice about how to ‘catch’ this new partner for your ex. It would be dishonest to them and painful for you.
How to say no
If your ex has asked to still be friends, tell him or her that you simply don’t think being friends is a good idea. It need not be very dramatic or painful.
If you’ve already agreed to be friends, your best bet is to wean yourself away from them by making yourself scarcer and scarcer until you can simply disappear.
About Brad Browning
Brad Browning is a relationship coach and breakup expert from Vancouver, Canada. For the past decade, Brad has worked with thousands of men and women around the world, helping to reverse breakups and mend broken relationships.
Brad is author of the best-selling Ex Factor Guide program, which teaches readers how to get their ex back. He also offers personal coaching to a limited number of clients, guiding them through the process of winning back an ex or recovering from a difficult breakup.
To learn more about how to get your ex back, visit the below website.